Well, nothing ever works out perfectly, does it? After we thought everything was a go for Redeemer on June 4, we start hearing that her parents would really prefer having the wedding near home for a number of very good reasons. Well, the problem is most of the churches around the area are Catholic, and Lutheran churches don’t seem to take very kindly to having non-members come in and use their church for a wedding with a different pastor.
So what’ll it be? My church which makes her whole family uncomfortable, a Catholic church which would make Amanda, me, and my family uncomfortable, or a local Lutheran church that makes everybody uncomfortable. Read on to find out the answer!!!! 😛
For awhile Amanda’s mom had an appointment set up with their priest; just kindof a preliminary I’m-getting-married-let’s-talk-about-this kind of thing. Well, last Friday I headed to Farley early to meet with her mom to talk about some of the things that we’d been considering so she doesn’t feel completely out of the picture. Part of the plan was for us to still go through with meeting Father Burkle on Saturday.
Amanda has always been the most adament about not wanting to get married in a Catholic church, but neither of us really knew the details of what a Catholic wedding entails. After our meeting on Saturday, we got a whole new perspective. Apparently, you can do a “Service without Mass,” which eliminates several parts of a typical Catholic services that Amanda and I were concerned about, including Eucharist (Communion for you Protestants out there). We’d been to another “interreligious marriage” where half of the church was excluded from taking Communion because they weren’t Catholic. Well, it sounds like we can avoid that which is a step in the right direction.
It also seems that the Church, or at least Father Burkle, is very flexible with the service. We have a little booklet that gives several different options for different parts of the service: prayers, readings, vows, etc. And it sounds like my Unlce Henry can still be a large part of the service, being involved in more than just the homily. And as long as music is approved ahead of time, my sisters can still sing something, which we were hoping for.
We were concerned about the “six months” of counseling we supposedly had to go throgh, but also learned that this is a lot less scary than it sounds. It’s actually only a couple of meetings with the priest and one weekend at a marriage “retreat.” The six months was just a time-frame used to make sure a couple doesn’t rush too quickly. And back to flexibility, Father Burkle was willing to marry us on May 21, a big surprise to Amanda and her monther.
With everything almost falling into place, it seemed like an easy decision to make. Amanda is still concerned a little, but I think things will work out without too many kinks. The best part is, within a day of making the desision, her mom had the hall reserved, a caterer contacted, and good leads on local cake-shops and dj’s. (One of the perks of letting the wedding be local to her!) I do have to sometime let her know I found three hotels with pools in Cedar Falls for less than $60 a night; her $80 Dyersville hotel isn’t winning us over with any “affordable” awards… Well…. we’ll just see how things go.
Now just on to fun fun fun details. 🙂